Why would I dislike a show about kindness?
We recently stumbled onto a great show called “The Kindness Diaries”. Leon is the star of the show and he’s burned out on just succeeding in the corporate world. Leon takes a sabbatical to travel the world on his motorcycle, with no money, food or shelter. He is totally reliant on the kindness of complete strangers to feed and house him along the way.
Leon finds that most people are generous, no matter their ethnicity, political affiliation, religion or nationality. Leon conquers his doubt, fear and insecurity across cultures, religions and socio-economic boundaries.
Leon eventually stops in Istanbul, sparking memories of my trips to Istanbul years ago. This bustling city is equal parts Europe, Asia and the Middle East. The show upset me because I realized I had let fear make me cram these trips into the least amount of time possible. At the time, I was thinking, “get in, get out…move on”.
Irrational fear robbed me from visiting the Blue Mosque, the Hagia Sophia, or the Grand Bazaar. Now, I wonder if the chance to visit Istanbul will ever happen again.
If I’m honest, I was filled with many anxieties visiting an unfamiliar Muslim country. Each of those anxieties turned out to be completely false. Here’s what actually happened:
My host was incredibly hospitable and took time to help me purchase soccer jerseys for my 2 young boys.
I gave a presentation to many insurance industry experts from different countries and companies who were better educated than me, yet I still received positive feedback.
My host arranged a visit at an Istanbul university to learn from a world-renowned expert in my industry.
I had amazing food and drink on the shores of the Mediterranean.
NONE of my fears came true. To the contrary — INCREDIBLY GOOD things happened.
Why are we conditioned to only focus on the negative? Does anyone else have trouble focusing on the potential good? Are there practical steps we can take to overcome fear and have more “Istanbul experiences”?
There are many tools to consider, but here’s a process worth trying:
- Write down the expected good and bad outcomes. Do you fear public speaking? The upcoming election? Taking a class at age 45? Rather than worry about it, write down the BEST and WORST outcomes that could happen.
- Assign a likelihood to each outcome. How likely is each outcome — is there a 1%, 10% or 50% chance of it happening? Don’t over-think this step, just put a best possible guess.
- Rank the list in order of the likelihood of each outcome. Here’s my outcome list for a current fear — publishing stories.
My biggest fear is misspelling a word and I think there’s a 25% chance it happens. Since I placed a higher chance on good things happening, what’s holding me back from writing, even if it’s never read? And, the worst thing I fear is misspelling a word?!?! Why do I care so much if my ego gets bruised a bit?
What fear-based decisions are keeping you from a full experience of your Istanbul? Hopefully, I’ll use this tool to avoid being upset at The Kindness Diaries ever again. :)
