Thoughts & Prayers Alone Are Not Enough
Is anyone else tired of the phrase “thoughts & prayers”? When my son drilled me with a golf ball at full speed, I did not want his thoughts and prayers, I wanted a doctor. If he had simply thought and prayed, I wouldn’t have made it to the emergency room to find out I was just a big baby.
Recent shootings in Uvalde and Buffalo are reminders that thoughts and prayers alone are not enough. We’ve failed our kids, neighbors, and ourselves. Between 2009 and 2018, the U.S. had 288 school shootings. Mexico had 8. Afghanistan had 3. Canada had 2. Each of these countries has its own problems, but the U.S. is a clear outlier when it comes to school shootings.
I support the second amendment, but as Former Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia said,
More laws, while needed, only address the tip of the iceberg.
What’s going on beneath the surface?
Ingredient #1 in our decline — fatherless families.
The percentage of American homes without a dad has doubled since 1970. In 2017, 25 million kids did not have a father in their life. Statistics suggest fathers have an outsized impact on children — for good or bad.
Children of single-parent homes are twice as likely to commit suicide
Children are four times more likely to be poor if the father is not around
Fatherless kids are twice as likely to be incarcerated and four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems
Dads — what impact for good or bad will you have on your family today? As a dad, the most valuable gift we can give is time.
Sometimes the greatest impact I have as a dad is being at the dinner table to hear my son share about playing college soccer or watching monkey videos on Instagram (monkey.posting on Instagram is worth lots of laughs…you’ll forget your troubles, trust me).
Other times, it’s playing FIFA with my 15-year-old, when it can seem impossibly challenging to get him to open up. I know my presence, even if we don’t talk much, is vital for both of us. That time helps me empathize with being a 15 year old kid. These seemingly simple moments tend to provide the greatest return on investment as a dad.
Dads, we must prioritize time with our kids each day, even if it’s only 15–20 minutes.
If Jayson Tatum can prioritize raising his son while also trying to reach the top of his career, I can too.
Ingredient #2 — accelerating decline of faith in God.
Since 2009, Christianity in America declined by 14%, while the “nones”, meaning those who are atheist, agnostic, or indifferent increased by 11%. “Nones” comprise 30% of our society, a larger proportion than American Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists combined.
I’m not about to blame violence on the nones — but it certainly seems suspicious the rise in violence happens to coincide with rapidly declining faith.
I’ll quickly admit the church has made some major mistakes through the years, but are we only seeing the downfalls in the news? Does the news cover the tiny little church getting a bunch of Harley riders to distribute toys in the projects? Did the news report anything when a Cincinnati mega-church helped launch Citylink?
Citylink has trained nearly 400 low-income students to earn a higher income, helped other students increase their income by an average of $10,000, and helped their clients reduce debt load by over $200,000. There are numerous of other similar stories, but these aren’t the sensational attention grabbers the news wants.
There have been terrible abuses in the church in the name of God. I hate that and I think God reserves a special hatred of that.
1 Thessalonians 4:6 No one should take advantage of or exploit other believers. The Lord is the one who punishes people for all these things.
At the same time, the church continuously makes me want to become a better dad, husband, worker, and neighbor.
Our church hosted an event called Man Camp last fall. I went off the grid with 1,500 other men from my church and all over the U.S. There were Trumpers and never-Trumpers. Black, white, young, old, gay, and straight. Not once did I hear any mention of treating women, minorities or anyone else poorly.
In fact, it was the polar opposite. Sitting around a campfire on the final evening with other guys, we each shared a simple, yet impactful thing we wanted to improve upon. Each of us said we wanted to prioritize loving our wives and kids better.
Every week, church fuels my spirit to care about others and keep trying when I fail to care about people, particularly those I do not easily relate to or understand.
There’s much to fear right now in America. Dads, fueled by a healthy, life-giving faith in God, are uniquely positioned to be a positive force of change society needs. Effective gun control laws, while helpful, simply cannot achieve what a healthy dad and healthy church can accomplish.
Dads — what’s 1 thing we can do to improve our relationships at home? Will we prioritize that as much as a meeting at work?
Resources used to prove I’m not making this all up….
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/school-shootings-by-country
